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It’s a beautiful day, you’re strolling down the streets of your local city and you happen to bump into a cute stranger, or huddling into a restaurant to have dinner with a group of friends, you happen to sit across from the new guy in the group, or maybe you’re at a business meeting, your pen falls and you and the handsome exec next to you bump heads as you reach to retrieve it, or better yet church has just finished and you’re exiting with the rest of the congregation when you and the brother across the way exchange a smile …. then it happens….. what you may ask, the otherwise considered accidental – now deemed fated handshake or other uncanny greeting that leads to the two’s meeting. The uncanny meeting leads to a lot of familiar greetings, unforgettable dates, and the beginning of a whirlwind romance. You’re happy, excited, and intrigued at the prospect of this new relationship. Butterflies flutter and your heart beats faster each time you’re in his presence, but…. PAUSE…. did you take the time to stop, and ask all the right questions???

The right questions…. hmmm … they seem to elude so many of us….

Well they could stem anywhere from how many sexual partners have you had to (my personal favorite), when you (my beloved) use a public bathroom, does your epidermis meet the enamel?

Simply put, would your lovely, debonair, ‘swept–you-off-your–feet’ prince, put his bare butt on a public toilet seat? I know you may think “ah, that’s trivial!” but I beg to differ.  Where a man puts his butt is just as important as ‘what he does for a living,’ or ‘who he’s slept with,’ when sifting the keepers from the disposables.  You have to realize one’s habits and even their pet peeves reveal a great deal about their character.

So back to some questions we need to ask….

How many sexual partners have you had?  Can be answered by asking “Does your epidermis meet the enamel in a public bathroom?” or “Do you eat food from any and everybody?”

Don’t think these are synonymous… oh but they are.

If a guy is willing to leave his clean toilet (at least we hope it is) or at least one in which he knows who has been on it, and use a public restroom, but fails to employ one of the following precautionary steps:

1. Line the toilet seat with toilet paper, or for the first-world nations, use that ready-made, lily white, Kimberly-Clark paper toilet seat lining that is ever present in every restroom right above the toilet,   

OR

2. If times real (trini twang) hard, and do not afford the aforementioned luxuries, do ‘the stoop’ maintaining that 2-3 inch distance between the seat and his butt,

and places his butt on a public toilet seat used by god knows who, and infested with god knows what germs, then I might conclude that this guy is not too particular about where he would put his other genital either, need I say more?

How about this one….

“When your food falls on the floor, do you believe and follow the five-second rule?” Similarly “How often do you brush your teeth?”

These are very pertinent questions. If your beau is willing to pick something up off the floor, or the counter, or the sink whose prior destination was his mouth but took a detour to said germ-infested surfaces, yet still arrives safely to the aforementioned destination (mouth), then I say to you what else is he willing to do with his mouth, then press those thought-to-be-succulent, germified lips up to yours? Your mouth is a crater for disease and infection, it is one of the dirtiest places in your body, possessing approximately 20 billion microbes, so why add to that scum and then share…I say no!

Our friends at MSNBC’s Today show shared this information about the “five-second rule”

Myth: Use the 5-second rule when things fall on the floor. 
Fact: People joke about it all the time, but any amount of time something 
spends on the floor is long enough for dropped objects to become 
contaminated with illness-causing bacteria like salmonella and E. coli. 
So it's always best to throw out dropped food and clean fallen items 
with hot water and soap before giving them back to your baby.
 Recently the rule was put to the test. A high school student contaminated a 
floor with E. coli, bacteria found in human waste. She dropped cookies
and gummy bears on this contaminated floor, picked them up after
1-5 seconds and tested bacterial levels. She found that even as little 
as two seconds on the floor left significant amounts of E. coli
on the food items. So, if a piece of food falls on the floor, throw it out. 
A dropped pacifier should be replaced with a clean one.

See my friends, scientific research disproves the “five-second rule.” It is now up to you to decide whose mouth you will allow to touch yours. I say no to all 5-seconder rulers!

“What kind of tip do you like to give?

Well ladies you know this question speaks to a lot of facets of this male’s character, and is also quite indicative of his financial situation.

Non-tipper – cheap…stay away at all costs, we don’t want any stingy, misers, who are not willing to splurge on themselves, far more on you.

10% tipper – well this type of guy, is trying to be frugal without appearing to be a reincarnated Ebenezer Scrooge so he chips in the required tip, and therefore remains in the safe zone, not leaving room for you to question his decision. However, this character can be exacting not just with money but with other issues also, and furthermore he may be covering up his true penny-pincherism.

On the other hand this tipping mentality could also mean, he really does not have the money, and you can then assess whether his is a financial situation with which you can be satisfied.

15-20% tipper – Well ladies, this young man over here, he could be Mr. Generous, Mr. Well-off, or Mr. Show-off.

  • Mr. Generous -There are some men that are genuinely concerned about the well-being of their server and the fact that the tips they receive from customers should be substantial to make their take-home salary worth talking about.  This is the type of guy you want to get to know because that generous nature will be manifested in the way he treats you. Hopefully he is generous with his heart too.
  • Mr. Well-off – He may just have the financial means to be a generous tipper and so he does it. I guess this means no more cheap dinners for you. But remember, his pocket does not determine his personality, so be wise.
  • Mr. Show-off – Hmmmm…. Well a guy that’s that happy about himself, and can’t wait to tell the world all about him even by the way that he tips, is probably someone who won’t want to tell the world all about his fantastic you, or give you the time of day, so it may be best to stay away from this one.

20% + tipper – ATTENTION this guy may have a head injury, please stay away! Just kidding.  This gentleman may be filthy rich, or extremely generous, no I think filthy rich because he has to have it to be that generous anyway. Use your own discretion. As we know, money is not all, but sometimes there are some special guys who are gems that own an abundance of them.

But of all the questions we need to ask, the most important is:

Do you pray?????

– followed by why, when, and how often!!!!

Ladies, prayer is the way in which we communicate with God. Prayer is our minute by minute, hour by hour, daily conversation with our loving Lord and Savior. Prayer is what leads us, guides us, uplifts us, supports us, and encourages us. Prayer exhibits faith, restores hope, brings joy, and instills peace. It is this type of communication that is most important when weeding out the keepers from the disposables. If your guy prays, but not only prays, if he prays often (as in constantly) – you just may have found a keeper. For if the answer to this question is yes, it indicates from whom your beau gets his strength. This indicates that he wants God to lead in his life. Such an answer indicates that this gentlemen searches for direction from the most High God, and that he makes no decision without the leading of his heavenly Father. Such a revelation shows a deep relationship with Christ that can only bring forth a loving heart, wisdom, knowledge, and understanding because he (your beau) would receive an outpouring of the Holy Spirit each day. And if you both share this type of relationship with Christ, only happiness and true love can spring forth from such a union.

So Ladies, when that lovely has simply swept you off your feet, before you take the leap, be sure to ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!!!

Love,

Ms. B

References

Germ warfare: How to protect yourself:7 myths and facts about preventing the spread of germs. MSNBC.com 01/02/2008. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/22463584/ns/today-today_101/t/germ-warfare-how-protect-yourself/#.T6yeiutST-Y
 
Landers, Bill. Oral bacteria: How many? How fast? RDH
http://www.rdhmag.com/index/display/article-display/366845/articles/rdh/volume-29/issue-7/columns/the-landers-file/oral-bacteria-how-many-how-fast.html

Epidermis Meets Enamel

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