Category Archives: Guys

To Cheat or not to Cheat!!!

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When one cheats, someone always gets hurt

This morning you made me cry
Not because something was stuck in my eye,
but because I realized you were interested in another guy
It started off as innocent conversation and jokes between a mutual friend and I
But I soon got caught up and began to entice
My mind wandered with thoughts of what could be, and no sooner creeped the thoughts of infidelity
My thoughts they were stronger now, plaguing my brain all the time
That no later had I seen her face, had I wished for a sweet embrace
I could no longer tell which girl was mine to be faithful to,
Mine to hold dear and true
Soon my true love or what she should have been
Caught a hint that someway, somehow, I had grown distant
She pondered, she questioned, and tried as hard as she could
To please me in anyway that was imaginable
But you see my brain so confused by what started out as innocent
Could not give her a hint of my allegiance
To our love, our story, our happily ever after
So she sat there sad and alone wondering what If she too found some new attracter
Slowly but surely she drifted away, this is when I started wondering had I made a mistake?
Entertaining all that The Lord had not ordained
My, my, my why did I have to start that conversation with my buddy that day
Now what was once a happy home has a distorted end
I’ve lost my love, I’ve lost my wife, I’ve lost my true happy end
All because I because I just had to entertain my friend.

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Many have experienced the emotional pain that devolves from infidelity or a cheating partner. If you choose to be in a relationship, you do stand the risk of getting hurt, but some hurts can be avoided. When two people commit to be in a relationship, they undertake the obligation and expectation of being faithful to each other. Being faithful requires a little more than the words, “I will be faithful” but more so requires great action and responsibility on the part of each partner. For instance, if I were to see an attractive man, and I see him actively trying to engage me with his eyes, I avoid eye contact and try to get as far away as possible just like my boy Joseph did in the face of great temptation with Potiphar’s wife. In some cases, one might find themselves actively staring at an attractive person, to you I would say avoid this! Simply program your mind not to look so hard, besides it being rude, such an action is just the beginning of the future manifestations of our sinful nature. 

God’s word already warns us of the consequences of such actions. In Matthew 5:28- But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. We must be careful what we allow our minds to dwell upon because, soon our thoughts turn into actions. I know you may think this is easier said than done, but if you take a step back, and really think about how much you value your spouse, partner, girlfriend, or boyfriend, and your relationship, you will not do anything or think anything that would threaten to destroy such. Before you take the step down the narrow winding road of infidelity think of the expected end, it never ends well. In the other hand, if you are the type of person whose eyes can’t help but stray, it just might be best for you to stay single. As the good book says, “do unto others as you would like them to do unto you,” – Luke 6:31. So my friends today I say go forth and flirt…not with anyone else but with your partner, do a double-take when you look at him/her, remind yourself of why you are with him/her, admire your partner’s physical attributes and say to them (and mean it), “Babe I’m hot for you and you only!”

Love, Ms. B

P.S. Please take our poll about infidelity below. It is anonymous. 

 

Live with a Vision!

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On the surface God’s power is not always visible, but the person of faith knows that God is there, no matter what!1

After all…

 

His glory covered the heavens,

And the earth was full of His praise.

His brightness was like the light;

He had rays flashing from His hand,

And there His power was hidden.

Before Him went pestilence,

And fever followed at His feet.  

(Habakkuk 3:4,5)

One can persevere by living with a vision1. If you had a vision of a savior that could do this: 

He looked and startled the nations.

And the everlasting mountains were scattered,

The perpetual hills bowed….

The mountains saw You and trembled;

The overflowing of the water passed by.

The deep uttered its voice,And lifted its hands on high.

The sun and moon stood still in their habitation;

At the light of Your arrows they went, At the shining of Your glittering spear.

(Habakkuk 3: 6, 10, 11)

But then, when you heard the voice of the almighty this happened:

My body trembled; My lips quivered at the voice;

Rottenness entered my bones;

And I trembled in myself,

That I might rest in the day of trouble.

(Habakkuk 3:16)

“Looking back at how God brought me through”

But I remembered how you have brought me through before so I declared: 

Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls—

 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;

He will make my feet like deer’s feet,

And He will make me walk on my high hills.

(Habakkuk 3:17-19)

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen.

Love, Ms. B

1. Goldstein, C.R. Remembering God’s Fame. Adult Sabbath School Bible Study Guide.Pacific Press Publishing Association, Idaho. p.68.2013.

Fifty Shades of Gray

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Fifty Shades of Gray—— I think these are the hues through which women see, we blindly enter into dark, uncharacteristic, I must have lost my mind, relationships that have no future, and during the relationship (-is sinking), there is no true depth or profundity, in fact there is a complete lack of quality. The relationship constitutes and reflects an overwhelming color block exhibiting a blur of gray areas that we make excuses for. Loneliness is no excuse to drop your standards so far below the baseline that your virtue electrocardiogram blasts the familiar loud monotonous sound of  one’s values and principles flat-lining. Women  have we lost our self-worth so that we are no longer objective, logical, or sensible for that matter when choosing our mates?  Rather than allowing such a crucial and potentially life changing decision be heavily influenced by a sure, firm foundation of guiding principles, we allow something as transient and capricious as our feelings to be the strongest determining factor in choosing the one with which we would invest large amounts of our time, we instead listen to our deceitful  and untrustworthy hearts as the compass through life’s inevitable season of useless relationships? The word of God warns us that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9.  

So ladies can you really trust your heart?

If we compromise our principles, values, and standards which we have held for the majority of our lives for the sake of someone who comes into our lives for a moment, a minute, a miniscule amount of time relative to how long we’ve lived with ourselves, it begs to ask the question have I really thrown  away who I am for what might be a visitor.  One can liken such behavior to breaking down your home of 10 years, even changing its foundation, to rebuild another one so as to fashion it to the standards and liking of an out of town visitor whom you have known for less time than you have had your home.  Our relationship choices do not only affect us, but it can certainly impact others of whose lives we are a part. Think about the examples we would be setting for  other young ladies and young men looking toward us for guidance? Messages that echo ‘women take what you can get while you can get it’  and “men treat us anyway you like, it won’t make a difference, we will still bow to your every whim just because we rather have a partner than our self-respect’. …well I sure hope after you ladies read this, the buck stops here, because it is a disgrace to see the acts of folly and foolishness we women are willing to tolerate today. When you find yourself altering your behavior and carrying out inconceivable actions as a result of the presence of a new mate to which your friends and family respond negatively and with deep concern, then you must take a step back and really check yourself.

Before one decides to date, they should carefully evaluate the character of the individual; ask some poignant and explicit questions that would remove the layers and reveal the true character. Inquire about his past record, observe his behavior around friends and family or if possible in the work place, observe how he treats you (of course) – does he open the door?- does he walk on the outside of you closest to the traffic?- does he speak to you with courtesy? But most importantly, does he have a relationship with God? E.G White says, “Listen not to the proposals of a man who has no realization of his responsibility to God.”   This is absolutely true, because if the person whom you choose to invite into your life is not led by God, then you just never know what you’re gonna get… “take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal (1). Now ladies and gents that statement right there is overflowing with wisdom, no one ever wants to get a six for a nine, or cubic zirconium rather than a diamond so please avoid the shades of gray and carefully screen before you decide to date. Do not be fooled by a pretty exterior….many red apples look rosy and nice till you bite into the rotten core.

When we date, risk is always involved, but it can be a wonderful process connecting with someone with whom you never knew before, developing a deep and fulfilling friendship by sharing numerous enjoyable experiences with each other, however in the midst of cloud nine, be aware, be vigilant, guard your character, and consider if this individual will allow you to preserve your individuality (1) or will he or she compromise your very character. Avoid the shades of gray because when it comes to your character and dignity there’s only black and white.

Love,

Ms. B

(1) White, E.G. The Adventist Home. Review and Herald Publishing Association. 2001

Finding Nemo

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SCHOOL

“There are plenty other fish in the sea”

I cringed at my best friend’s summation of the matter. I’m so fed up of that stupid saying. He’s my fish! I went to the shop and picked him. He was perfect for me, and then… someone stole him.

I turned to her and sulked. “I don’t like fishing”

“Well hun, we need to fish to eat” She smiled smuggly at what she thought was cleverness.

“That’s easy to say when you’re done fishing…”

My best friend was engaged for 5 months now. Her relationship seemed perfect from the outside. They loved passionately, they fought fairly and they were like-minded in their fundamental beliefs.

“Oh hun, you thought it was easy to find my perfect fish?” Her eyes lit up as she talked about her fiance. “Do you remember Mr. Goes Nowhere, Mr. Buys Nothing, Mr. Trust Issues, Mr. Selfish pants, Mr. Church, Mr. I-am-God’s-Gift-to women and worst of the bunch, Mr. You’re-the-only-one? I’ve had a lot of rotten fish hun, and learnt from every one of them what I shouldn’t stand in a relationship!”

I sigh. “Yeah, I know… but this guy… he’s not a rotten fish. He’s … ” I couldn’t finish. I felt the burning in my cheeks again. I was determined not to cry anymore.

“Well hun, you need to let him go. Let him discover whatever he needs to discover with her. If he’s really your fish, he’ll come back and appreciate you more; And if he doesn’t, well like I said… ”

“Yeah, I know… there are plenty other fish in the sea…”

“Yup! Let go and let God girl! He led me to my perfect fish after all those losers. Who’s to say he doesn’t have one for you?”

Hello again. Here’s more fiction with a tinge of truth! Hope you like it. I tried to make it less morbid than the other two short stories, though people seemed to like those ones LOL!

Have a great day!

Angie

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It’s a beautiful day, you’re strolling down the streets of your local city and you happen to bump into a cute stranger, or huddling into a restaurant to have dinner with a group of friends, you happen to sit across from the new guy in the group, or maybe you’re at a business meeting, your pen falls and you and the handsome exec next to you bump heads as you reach to retrieve it, or better yet church has just finished and you’re exiting with the rest of the congregation when you and the brother across the way exchange a smile …. then it happens….. what you may ask, the otherwise considered accidental – now deemed fated handshake or other uncanny greeting that leads to the two’s meeting. The uncanny meeting leads to a lot of familiar greetings, unforgettable dates, and the beginning of a whirlwind romance. You’re happy, excited, and intrigued at the prospect of this new relationship. Butterflies flutter and your heart beats faster each time you’re in his presence, but…. PAUSE…. did you take the time to stop, and ask all the right questions???

The right questions…. hmmm … they seem to elude so many of us….

Well they could stem anywhere from how many sexual partners have you had to (my personal favorite), when you (my beloved) use a public bathroom, does your epidermis meet the enamel?

Simply put, would your lovely, debonair, ‘swept–you-off-your–feet’ prince, put his bare butt on a public toilet seat? I know you may think “ah, that’s trivial!” but I beg to differ.  Where a man puts his butt is just as important as ‘what he does for a living,’ or ‘who he’s slept with,’ when sifting the keepers from the disposables.  You have to realize one’s habits and even their pet peeves reveal a great deal about their character.

So back to some questions we need to ask….

How many sexual partners have you had?  Can be answered by asking “Does your epidermis meet the enamel in a public bathroom?” or “Do you eat food from any and everybody?”

Don’t think these are synonymous… oh but they are.

If a guy is willing to leave his clean toilet (at least we hope it is) or at least one in which he knows who has been on it, and use a public restroom, but fails to employ one of the following precautionary steps:

1. Line the toilet seat with toilet paper, or for the first-world nations, use that ready-made, lily white, Kimberly-Clark paper toilet seat lining that is ever present in every restroom right above the toilet,   

OR

2. If times real (trini twang) hard, and do not afford the aforementioned luxuries, do ‘the stoop’ maintaining that 2-3 inch distance between the seat and his butt,

and places his butt on a public toilet seat used by god knows who, and infested with god knows what germs, then I might conclude that this guy is not too particular about where he would put his other genital either, need I say more?

How about this one….

“When your food falls on the floor, do you believe and follow the five-second rule?” Similarly “How often do you brush your teeth?”

These are very pertinent questions. If your beau is willing to pick something up off the floor, or the counter, or the sink whose prior destination was his mouth but took a detour to said germ-infested surfaces, yet still arrives safely to the aforementioned destination (mouth), then I say to you what else is he willing to do with his mouth, then press those thought-to-be-succulent, germified lips up to yours? Your mouth is a crater for disease and infection, it is one of the dirtiest places in your body, possessing approximately 20 billion microbes, so why add to that scum and then share…I say no!

Our friends at MSNBC’s Today show shared this information about the “five-second rule”

Myth: Use the 5-second rule when things fall on the floor. 
Fact: People joke about it all the time, but any amount of time something 
spends on the floor is long enough for dropped objects to become 
contaminated with illness-causing bacteria like salmonella and E. coli. 
So it's always best to throw out dropped food and clean fallen items 
with hot water and soap before giving them back to your baby.
 Recently the rule was put to the test. A high school student contaminated a 
floor with E. coli, bacteria found in human waste. She dropped cookies
and gummy bears on this contaminated floor, picked them up after
1-5 seconds and tested bacterial levels. She found that even as little 
as two seconds on the floor left significant amounts of E. coli
on the food items. So, if a piece of food falls on the floor, throw it out. 
A dropped pacifier should be replaced with a clean one.

See my friends, scientific research disproves the “five-second rule.” It is now up to you to decide whose mouth you will allow to touch yours. I say no to all 5-seconder rulers!

“What kind of tip do you like to give?

Well ladies you know this question speaks to a lot of facets of this male’s character, and is also quite indicative of his financial situation.

Non-tipper – cheap…stay away at all costs, we don’t want any stingy, misers, who are not willing to splurge on themselves, far more on you.

10% tipper – well this type of guy, is trying to be frugal without appearing to be a reincarnated Ebenezer Scrooge so he chips in the required tip, and therefore remains in the safe zone, not leaving room for you to question his decision. However, this character can be exacting not just with money but with other issues also, and furthermore he may be covering up his true penny-pincherism.

On the other hand this tipping mentality could also mean, he really does not have the money, and you can then assess whether his is a financial situation with which you can be satisfied.

15-20% tipper – Well ladies, this young man over here, he could be Mr. Generous, Mr. Well-off, or Mr. Show-off.

  • Mr. Generous -There are some men that are genuinely concerned about the well-being of their server and the fact that the tips they receive from customers should be substantial to make their take-home salary worth talking about.  This is the type of guy you want to get to know because that generous nature will be manifested in the way he treats you. Hopefully he is generous with his heart too.
  • Mr. Well-off – He may just have the financial means to be a generous tipper and so he does it. I guess this means no more cheap dinners for you. But remember, his pocket does not determine his personality, so be wise.
  • Mr. Show-off – Hmmmm…. Well a guy that’s that happy about himself, and can’t wait to tell the world all about him even by the way that he tips, is probably someone who won’t want to tell the world all about his fantastic you, or give you the time of day, so it may be best to stay away from this one.

20% + tipper – ATTENTION this guy may have a head injury, please stay away! Just kidding.  This gentleman may be filthy rich, or extremely generous, no I think filthy rich because he has to have it to be that generous anyway. Use your own discretion. As we know, money is not all, but sometimes there are some special guys who are gems that own an abundance of them.

But of all the questions we need to ask, the most important is:

Do you pray?????

– followed by why, when, and how often!!!!

Ladies, prayer is the way in which we communicate with God. Prayer is our minute by minute, hour by hour, daily conversation with our loving Lord and Savior. Prayer is what leads us, guides us, uplifts us, supports us, and encourages us. Prayer exhibits faith, restores hope, brings joy, and instills peace. It is this type of communication that is most important when weeding out the keepers from the disposables. If your guy prays, but not only prays, if he prays often (as in constantly) – you just may have found a keeper. For if the answer to this question is yes, it indicates from whom your beau gets his strength. This indicates that he wants God to lead in his life. Such an answer indicates that this gentlemen searches for direction from the most High God, and that he makes no decision without the leading of his heavenly Father. Such a revelation shows a deep relationship with Christ that can only bring forth a loving heart, wisdom, knowledge, and understanding because he (your beau) would receive an outpouring of the Holy Spirit each day. And if you both share this type of relationship with Christ, only happiness and true love can spring forth from such a union.

So Ladies, when that lovely has simply swept you off your feet, before you take the leap, be sure to ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS!!!

Love,

Ms. B

References

Germ warfare: How to protect yourself:7 myths and facts about preventing the spread of germs. MSNBC.com 01/02/2008. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/22463584/ns/today-today_101/t/germ-warfare-how-protect-yourself/#.T6yeiutST-Y
 
Landers, Bill. Oral bacteria: How many? How fast? RDH
http://www.rdhmag.com/index/display/article-display/366845/articles/rdh/volume-29/issue-7/columns/the-landers-file/oral-bacteria-how-many-how-fast.html

Epidermis Meets Enamel

Counting calories?

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Hey everyone!

I just thought I would share this link from Harvard Health Publications. It’s a table of calories burnt in 30 minutes for various forms of exercise based on your body weight. Keep it for reference if you’re a calorie counter. The link is below:

Handy Dandy Table

Have a great day!

Angie

Negative vibes

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Last week, while I was working out, my mind wandered  (as it often does these days) about my status at graduate school…

My supervisor is very challenging to work with, I am not excited about my research, I have been rejected for every academic award I have ever applied for in the past 4 years, and there have been days where I have considered quitting my Ph.D. program altogether.

As I  refocussed  on my  bench press set, I surprised myself with how much more than usual that I could lift. My self-proclaimed superhuman feat made sense when I remembered that I did a set of negatives the week before.

In Amp up your workout! I touched briefly on the idea, but as a reminder, negatives are reps where you focus on the lowering part of a muscle contraction (e.g. the lowering movement in a push up or pull up).

Typically, negatives:

  1. require a spotter to help on the positive movement,
  2. are done with more weight than a regular repetition, and
  3. take discipline and focus as you perform the negative movement slowly and carefully.
Suddenly I had an epiphany…

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God is my spotter, these trials are more negatives than I’m used to, and  with discipline and focus I can handle more in the future!

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I felt like God spoke to me that day. And it’s not as if He didn’t tell me before…
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2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

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…and furthermore it’s not as if I didn’t write on the topic of trials recently (God’s trial or my trial?).
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I was so thankful God got me thinking again about how I am handling my “negatives” outside of the gym. In fact, I’m pleased to announce that this week I found out I was awarded an academic fellowship for my next academic year!
How great is our God and His impecable timing! He is definitely my #1 spotter!
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Blessings and negative vibes,

Angie

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It’s been three months, three months of bliss – three months of pure undefiled happiness. Each moment reminds me of a day spent in paradise, and every time our eyes meet, I cannot imagine a day without you in my life. Slowly it grew, like a vine creeping and crawling, slithering into the heart and mind. A fondness, a feeling, a flame so famed by its well known alias ~ LOVE… but was the feeling and flame the same.

Was it truly love?


I sure thought that it was. A love that formed its roots within the deep recesses of my heart, a love so unexpected, so unique, that I couldn’t tell the end from the start. It certainly was something of an enigma – unknown, uncontrolled, uncanny, unmatched. From sweet slumber I’d rise feeling inexplicable delight knowing that you sir was a part of my life. Smiling every day, feeling no pangs of pain, numb to disappointment, in fact there was no hurtful thing to come my way and if it did, I wouldn’t know its name – for to me before you, life was just mundane.

Oh such a sweet romance, gently idling by the phone listening for your special ring tone, hearkening to your heavenly voice, everything you said was gold, blocking out the world’s noise. Plans made creating pockets of time that could only be shared with you, these would soon become memories to reflect upon when we’d say our “I do’s”. It’s been three months, three months of moonlit walks, and candle lit kisses, savory foods and delectable dishes. It’s amazing how much we’ve connected over the meals shared in spots that are now more to us than just the places that supplied our fare, yes much more, they’ve become a notch on the timeline of our love.

It’s been three months, three months since our first kiss shared in the dark of the universe where there was only us, and I knew, I knew it was true because for me, you were more than a dream, you were the epitomy of what it meant to be a soulmate – you were a soul-me. Three months, three months since I first noticed the way my legs twitched every time I felt your lips. It’s been three months, three months since you showed me what a gentleman truly was, a man who would lift me off my feet just so they wouldn’t have to touch the scuzzy streets. It’s been three months, three months since I first knew what it felt like to be wrapped in the arms of a man who truly knows how to love… three months. Three months and you wait till the clock is about to strike midnight less two on the eve of the new year that crashes through, and you say as you look into my eyes and hold me tight in your arms, “Will you be my boo?” and I respond “Yes” but was I just unleashing the storm all because I chase after the one?

Is he “the one?”

All that’s been said without a mention of God, not a gentle prayer whispered or a request for guidance whistled, no… just an uninterrupted spiral of sentimentalism over the man who seems to glisten. Is he truly the one when there’s no time left to consult with God about the one whom the heart He (the creator) gave you, craves for? THE ONE who made you, who knew you before He formed you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5), THE ONE who knows what’s best for you, is  THE ONE whom you deprive of telling you whom you should allow into your life.  God is THE ONE who can help you choose, who knows the inner workings of “the one” you claim is for you. Without His direction, this connection is destined to fail, so save yourself the heartache and please let God’s will prevail. Do not make the mistake of the many before you, mistaking “THE ONE” – Your heavenly Father, for the “the one” – a mere man. Let THE ONE true God lead you to finding “the one” i.e. the helpmeet Jesus-picked and chosen for you – that’s when you will experience true bliss –pure and undefiled happiness. This is the only way you will know a love so true!

Here are  some great articles  you should check out!

~How to Find True Love~

~Grain of Faith Blog~

Love well

Always,

Ms. B

T.H.E O.N.E Part 2

Guardians and helpers – what’s your role?

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Lucas Cranach the Elder (1472-1553): Adam and ...

Last Thursday was International Women’s day . My Facebook feed was therefore inundated with posts by women proclaiming independence, an ability to do everything better than men, and defiance towards getting in the kitchen and making him a sandwich. This prompted me to write about our roles in relationships as defined by Biblical standards.

There’s this misconception that God is sexist. However, in terms of salvation, (probably the most important message of the Bible), God says this:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Gal 3:28).

Clearly, God views man and woman as equals but He does define specific roles for each gender. This is not sexism, this is just perfect management!

Let’s start at the beginning. Gen 1:27 describes the creation of mankind, both male and female. In Gen 2:21 God took Adam’s ribs to create the woman Eve. This is quite symbolic. The ribs or the side of man’s body corroborates the equality of the genders in God’s eyes. He did not take part of man’s head or foot, so ladies should not laud over nor be subservient to their men. However, God did make females with a purpose:

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18)

Ladies your role is to keep your man company, be his friend, confidante and helper. Unfortunately for us, Eve botched her job big time.  We all know the story: Eve was deceived by the serpent in the garden, ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, shared it with Adam and pretty much got them evicted from Paradise.

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. (Gen 3:6)

Adam should have said “No!” He knew the rules, but he trusted Eve because he expected her to look out for him as his friend and helper. Adam was given a huge choice of free-growing food, but he ate from the forbidden tree, and Eve showed poor decision making and by extension leadership skills. God therefore judged mankind fairly: man suffered via having to work to grow his food for all the days of his life (Gen 3:17-19), while woman was destined to be ruled by her man (Gen 3:16). Yes, fellars, you are ordained to rule the ladies. Luckily, Christ has given us the best example of a good ruler:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25)

That’s a huge role guys. To love your lady means you must be patient with her, treat her kindly, protect her and display only good will towards her. God wants you to rule your lady with her best interests in mind. No manipulation, no games and especially no abuse.

Ladies, God did not leave you out:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Eph 5:22)

Ladies, your God-fearing man is willing to sacrifice himself for you. If he has your back, the least you could do is submit to him and respect him. Don’t make his job harder by being quarrelsome, disrespectful or unsupportive. You are his helper – encourage him to seek God and allow him to fulfill his responsibility of leading you as the priest of the home.

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Cor 11:3).

Once the couple strives to follow this model of accountability, a harmonious and enjoyable relationship is inevitable.

But what if these roles are not being fulfilled? Let’s start with a man in the wrong. A man who is not following God, who is encouraging you to do unholy things, and who shows no interest in Christ as the head of his life has forfeited his right to be your ruler. In this situation pray for your man. Ask God to move him to His will and make suggestions to him respectfully to reflect on his actions. In this case, the lady may have to lead (with Christ as her head) in the man’s stead. An example of this is Deborah, a judge/leader of Israel (Judges 4). Deborah told Barak, the commander of the armies of Naphtali and Zebulun, to march out and meet the enemy and God would guarantee the victory. The commander did not trust God and begged her to go with him. If Barak was an example of the kind of doubtful men that were around at that time, it is no wonder God favoured Deborah to be the leader in Israel despite being a woman!

Now for the “independent ladies”. God did not command your man to be your oppressor. If your man is obeying God’s will you don’t need to get on your I’m-a-strong-woman-I-don’t-need-you pedestal. He is your guardian and is responsible for you. Nothing is wrong with being a strong woman, but remember the same way your man submits to Christ is how you should submit to him – willingly. Don’t be like Lot’s wife, looking longingly at the world, while your man is leading you to the safety and good things of God. A pillar of salt is not a good look for you!

So Guys and Girls, know your role: the guardian and the ruler, the helper and the friend. God has ordained it, so let it work in your life!

Cheers,
Angie

P.S. It’s okay to grab him a sandwich now and again 🙂

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Have you ever heard the phrase…”Parents just don’t understand”…. I am sure it is fair to say that “Men just don’t understand!” Sometimes I feel as if I am screaming at the top of my voice and no one (especially the one I’m talking to) can hear me. Why is it that men just can’t hear what you’re saying. I mean after all, you call yourself my better half and yet it seems that when I think something – you do not, and when I form this thought into words, you speak a different language. Of course you must be thinking I’m crazy, how can I possibly expect him to know what I’m thinking? Well I don’t, BUT I do expect that we will communicate in such a way that our thinking patterns and understanding of each other’s needs and wants coincide. Unfortunately expectations are funny that way, because while I thought my better half and I would share no language barriers, the harsh reality is when women speak, men hear dogs barking, birds chirping, cats meowing, or donkeys braying…cause they sure don’t hear what you’re trying to tell them. Many of my educated sisters may say “I am at a loss as to what to do because I have tried to dumb it down or intellectually spice it up but it just does not seem to work!” “I could even say it in the three or four different languages I know, but it is no surprise that these attempts to communicate the simplest of things prove futile.” Can you feel the frustration?

Scene: Jane and John sit on the couch, Jane rests her feet on John and says 

“Honey I’m stressed out!” John gently touches the soles of her feet. 

Jane thinks it is the beginning of a wonderful massage, however it stops there. 

Jane is not satisfied and wants more so she gently touches him and says “Can I have a back rub too?” 

He responds with a pat on the back, two strokes of her feet and 

a touch of four of the five toes God blessed her with. 

Jane is left dissatisfied, and stumped as to the disconnect between 

the words that left her mouth and those which entered John’s ear.

 

Lost in translation much?

It seems that in relationships it is truly important that when partners attempt to communicate with each other despite the apparent language barrier, they need to be fully connected to God as were the apostles during the day of Pentecost. When the apostles were preaching to men of different nations who literally spoke languages different from their own, this audience of foreigners was able to understand the apostles perfectly. Through the working of the Holy Spirit, when these apostles who were Galilean spoke, the men in the audience heard these things in their own language (Acts 2:4-12). The apostles through their relationship with Christ received the Holy Spirit who then made their Aramaic/Hebrew words comprehensible to the hearers who spoke Latin, Persian, Arabic and perhaps more. How much more then can the Holy Spirit do for us in our relationships? If we would but commit and consecrate our lives to God and seek to understand His will, what a blessing we would receive when our mouths are opened or our ears are perked. God has the power to give us great depths of understanding and eloquence of verse just as He did for Moses who was fearful to speak before Pharaoh (Exodus 4:10-12).

 

Daily, we rely on our mobile phones as a constant means of communication, but there are times when we call our significant others and misunderstandings result due to dropped calls or poor reception. No fault of yours of course, but your patience wanes and the decision is made to switch phone services. Well people you should leave  AT&T and Verizon, Bmobile and Digicel, and switch to the most reliable communication service there is – ‘Jesus Mobile,’ for there is no service provider more efficient, reliable, and inexpensive as when you dial with or to a Jesus line. Calls are crystal clear, all cell towers function optimally without interruption, dropped calls are non-existent, and an in-service interpreter is always there. When it’s time to communicate with your spouse, significant other, friend, relative, and even your foe, just call on your Jesus mobile because only He can soften the edges of our would be sharp tongues, and improve the acuity of our faulty hearing. Only He can allow us to speak, hear, and listen in love. His is the best intepretation/translation service, whose capabilities surpass Google Translate and Rosetta Stone. He is the only one who can make our relationships stronger via clear, comfortable, communication because He is the one who works on the heart, improves the mind, teaches us love, and cleanses the soul. Listening to, and learning our partners is linked to loving our partners, and the better we love them, the better we can communicate with, and listen to what they say, even when no words escape. 

 

So ladies…. Is it that men  are deaf or they just don’t understand or is it that we simply need to switch our lines of communication?

Here’s an interesting link which describes how we ourselves can become language barriers and how we can improve on this ~ Communicating God’s way ~

Hopefully Clearly Speaking,

Ms. B

Oblivious or Obtuse?

T.H.E O.N.E – Part 1

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It all began on that fateful day when I happened to be driving by a green expanse opposite the very symbol that would be the protagonist in the fiendish plot to keep us apart. But what a beautiful and memorable day it was when we both realized that this seemingly serendipitous meeting was simply meant to be.  How was it possible to cross three lanes of traffic and get a parking spot where there never seemed to be parking at that time of day? How was it possible that two people who had not seen each other in years would be able to glimpse each other from across the way in the blur of the busy of life? All conditions pointed to probabilities of inverse infinity therefore making these series of events impossibilities, were it not for a blessing from above said the two hearts seemingly already in love.  Pleasantries exchanged, a smile here and there, mostly little chuckles both trying so hard to be suave and debonair. Finally it was time to part after all of ten minutes, but those ten minutes seemed to be the longest and strongest – for a bond was formed that day that would prove difficult to tear apart.

It was not but a few days later when those flirting words turned into “Can I take you on a date?” to which a swift reply came, “But of course, better sooner than late.” Excited at the prospect of having the one you’ve dreamed of express their interest in you, makes the heart flutter, the mind wander, and the stomach uneasy too.  The first date goes smoothly, you seem to love everything he does from the smirk on his face, to the size of his waist, and the fact that he doesn’t do dutch. He makes you laugh, he makes you smile, and your head fills up with thoughts of walking down the aisle. You think to yourself where has he been all my life? As the days go by, smooth sailing occurs, no ups and downs, no twists or turns. Everyday seems dreamier than the day the before, and before you know it, your heart leaps out the door, and you confidently declare – no need to look any further, for THE ONE I’ve searched for all my life is finally here! And you feel just as this poet did.

The sun, it did shine
 the day you came into my life
 and everything that was wrong
 became all right
 everything that was upside down
 turned around
And I smiled because finally
 my heart had found its home
 and I didn’t need anyone to tell me
 that you are where I belong
 I knew, I just knew
 that it was you
And the morning sun it would rise
 and dance through the happiness
 that shone in my eyes
 And all my dreams they did come true
 every second that was spent with you
 And every wish I had ever made
 came to life that one fateful day
And I smiled because finally
 my life and everything made perfect sense
 and I didn’t need someone to tell me
 that this was love or what it meant
 I knew, I just knew
 I was meant for you ~ By Anonymous~

But then it seemed as soon as those words rolled off your lips, no sooner would you have wished them back into the recesses of your left brain before your neurons triggered the action potential to make vocal organs bring forth these seemingly coherent wisps. Words which now seem to have been the utterance of a fool that rushed in. But don’t worry, you are not alone, you have company at the soulmate inn.  We have all been there one time or another.  The concept of “The One” has plagued us all, and it forces us to wonder “Does the concept of ‘The One really exist?” 

Stay tuned for part two as we explore the role of God, the guy, and the girl as we journey through the world of love to find the ephemeral answer to this perpetual question.  Until then, I leave you with a listen of the song Soulmate.

Writing from the heart,
Ms. B

I love him … but he’s not a Christian

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Hi 3G readers!

Marriage Day

I am a firm believer in only dating guys that I can see myself marry. This saves me and them from unenjoyable relationships of convenience, and from investing in something with no long-term future. Further, if you’ve read my Valentine’s day post you will know that I believe a true loving relationship is defined by God, so it begs the question: can we really have a romantic relationship with an unbeliever?

A long time ago I met a guy who I really liked. We were totally compatible: we liked similar things, we were both ambitious, we could agree to disagree without getting defensive or aggressive, I could talk to him about anything, our parents were friends, and we had fun when we hung out. He was perfect… except he was an atheist. The truth is, he is still one of my best friends. But I knew we could never be together romantically unless the Spirit of God moved him.

The Bible says:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

A lot of people, believers and unbelievers alike, find this text difficult to swallow. I can even understand if one thinks this command sounds almost elitist. The truth is that God is saving us from a lot of pain by instructing us in this way. Relationships are commitments. Commitments ALWAYS involve compromises. Let’s say you and your unbelieving significant other decide to get married. Do you get married in a church or on a beach? Who will perform your ceremony? A priest or a justice of the peace? When you have kids, do you raise them in the Church or not? Do you pray openly before meals or out of respect for your lover, pray silently in your head? These are not trivial questions. As a believer you should strive for all of your life decisions to be in line with the Word. There will be compromises in relationships but are you willing to compromise the Word of God for your husband  or wife?

What about people who have different beliefs? For example, I have always admired the devotion that my Muslim friends have shown to worship. Praying many times a day, fellowship with other Muslims, studying the Koran from very young and truly living their life in line with the tenets of their faith. And even though a lot of their moral beliefs are common to Christianity, the same compromises would be evident in a long-term relationship with them. Can you truly pray together? Which faith would you teach your children? How would you deal with contrasting beliefs? I grew up in a household where I attended two churches because my parents belonged to two different Christian sects. It was difficult as a young person deciphering which “side” to take. And this was a cause of dissension for me as a teenager. When I chose one church over the other, this resulted in a strained relationship with the parent whose religion I chose to forego. I’m definitely not saying I wish my parents never got married – I thank God that they did! I just want to illustrate the problems that can arise from simply disobeying God’s instructions for your life.

Now I must highlight that I DO NOT believe that this text means we cannot be friends with unbelievers. Paul says it best:

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. (1 Corinthians 9:19)

How else can we expect to spread the Gospel and win souls for Christ if we do not befriend unbelievers! Jesus himself was a friend of corrupt tax-colletors and sinners but Jesus was unwaveringly secure in his mission. God does not forbid friendship with unbelievers BUT he does not leave us without warning:

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Beware of immoral and obscene friends and friends who encourage you in activities that are unholy, unBiblical and sinful.

Now the acute reader will ask “Why can’t we be in a relationship with someone and just convert them to Christianity before we get married?” Isn’t that a little backwards? The Bible didn’t say “Yoke with unbelievers and then convert them” nor can you yourself “convert” someone. Only the Spirit of God can make someone a Christian (1 Cor 3:6-7). Be honest with yourself. Are you using your “spreading of the Gospel” as justification for being with this person? Further, if your relationship is the only motivation for the conversion, this is not a true conversion. Beware of the person who professes to be Christian just to be in a relationship with you. It’s on you to observe their behaviour over the course of time to see if the words on their lips match the thoughts in their heart.

So to wrap up, God has given us basic advice on who makes an appropriate mate for our own good. Remember God sees the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10) and knows the consequences of our every decision before we make them. He only wants the best for us and counsels us with this in mind.

Let me know in the comments your experiences with dating unbelievers, advice you can add, or any other thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you!

Love,

Angie

What’s the big deal about Love?

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

What a fitting day to discuss true love. When I was a kid, I used to collect those “Love is…” cartoons with the little naked couple by Kim Casali and Bill Asprey. (If you’re feeling nostalgic you can check them out here.)

As a kid, the simplicity and innocence of those cartoons left me with romantic notions of one day living with the man of my dreams and making sweet gestures just like that nameless couple… well not exactly like them… I am pretty sure I would not be prancing about in the nude!

As a grown up, and having experienced love and loss a few times, I know that the elementary tenets that the cartoon provided did not give the complete picture. There are a few things I’ve learnt the hard way, the easy way being I should have paid more attention to what God has clearly outlined for us in His Word. Here’s what I’ve discovered so far:


Before you can love someone else, you must love God.

I cannot begin to stress how important this is. The most important love commitment in your life should be God.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)
To truly love someone, you must have a relationship with God.Let’s delve deeper and play “connect the dots”.
John 14:21 says Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me.
Romans 12:2 says Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Together these passages encourage us to obey God and to achieve this we must renew our mind (meaning we must read and study his Word). Finally reading his Word gives us insight on what it means to love others.

love God ••••• obey God ••••• read his Word ••••• learn to love others – dots connected!
 

Before you can love someone else, you must love yourself.

So you’ve probably heard this before. We all remember becoming crying milksops when Tom Cruise delivered that epic line in Jerry Maguire:….You complete me ….The truth is, we should be “complete” before we find a mate despite how romantic Tom/Jerry sounded. You should already be a complete person though hopefully developing into a more Christ-like person. And complete people are people who love themselves. This love is not to be confused with pride, selfishness or greed, all of which the Bible warns us against. Biblical self-love is healthy, understanding that you are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19) and you should feed and care for it (Eph 5:29).The Bible says the second greatest command after loving God is

Love your neighbour as yourself (Lev 19:18; Matt 22:38 NIV).

If you cannot love yourself or do not love yourself as you ought, your neighbour will never be loved as they ought either. As the old ladies like to say “Get your house in order before you invite guests”. (Okay I never actually heard an old lady say this but we can pretend!)

You choose who to love.

Wow that was a hard one for me to swallow the first time I thought about it. I always figured love was something that grew uncontrolled and beautiful based on the happenings within the relationship. And again, based on the happenings, love could shrink and depart just as quickly. However, Moses commanded Israel to

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength 
(Deut 6:5; Matt 22:37 NIV).

With God as the greatest example of a recipient of our love, this implies that we have a choice to love (we being creatures with free will) and further we can choose how much to love. The choices we make and why we make them are definitely fodder for a future post.

It’s not about you.

It is so easy to get wrapped up in how you feel when you are in love. This is so dangerous. If your motivation for loving is feeling good, it’s a perversion of love as defined by the Word. Love considers the recipient most of all. The greatest testament to this is the popular excerpt from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians (1 Cor 13:4-7). Most importantly, verse 5 says that love is not self-seeking, but every other characteristic of love in this passage is about the lover’s behaviour towards the “lovee”. Patience, kindness, honour, protection, good will…. these are all about the person being loved.

Biblical love is the recipe for all relationships.

Up to now you’ve probably been thinking about theses teachings in terms of a man and a woman in a romantic relationship. The truth is your significant other is not the only “neighbour” you have. Love as defined by God’s word is applicable to all types of relationships: friends, parents, siblings, co-workers. God encourages love in the entire community.

So friends I’ll leave you with the gorgeous Tom Cruise as a reminder of what love is not about…. yes you may grab that Kleenex again but grab your Bible too and discover the true meaning of love. And let me know what you think in the comments ♥

Love,

Angie ♥

The 3G Journey

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Welcome to God Guys and Girls: An Introspective look into Love’s True Triangle!

Travel with  Angie and  I (Ms. B)  on our  journey through  God’s Universe to the most popular tourist destinations: – the  city of love and the planets of Mars ( guys) and Venus (girls).  Share our experiences and tell about your own as we laugh, cry, reflect,  and meditate on God’s word together.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction Proverbs 1:7

This text will be the basis of our words as our goal is to give advice based on God’s word, His principles, and our experiences so we all can increase in wisdom, knowledge and understanding as we deal with the ups and downs of  our love-lives. We want you to learn from us and we hope to learn from you as well,  so follow our blog and feel free to put  in your 2 cents : )

Enjoy the journey! We look forward to hearing from you!

Angie & Ms B.