Tag Archives: Commitment

To Cheat or not to Cheat!!!

Standard

20131029-114408.jpg
When one cheats, someone always gets hurt

This morning you made me cry
Not because something was stuck in my eye,
but because I realized you were interested in another guy
It started off as innocent conversation and jokes between a mutual friend and I
But I soon got caught up and began to entice
My mind wandered with thoughts of what could be, and no sooner creeped the thoughts of infidelity
My thoughts they were stronger now, plaguing my brain all the time
That no later had I seen her face, had I wished for a sweet embrace
I could no longer tell which girl was mine to be faithful to,
Mine to hold dear and true
Soon my true love or what she should have been
Caught a hint that someway, somehow, I had grown distant
She pondered, she questioned, and tried as hard as she could
To please me in anyway that was imaginable
But you see my brain so confused by what started out as innocent
Could not give her a hint of my allegiance
To our love, our story, our happily ever after
So she sat there sad and alone wondering what If she too found some new attracter
Slowly but surely she drifted away, this is when I started wondering had I made a mistake?
Entertaining all that The Lord had not ordained
My, my, my why did I have to start that conversation with my buddy that day
Now what was once a happy home has a distorted end
I’ve lost my love, I’ve lost my wife, I’ve lost my true happy end
All because I because I just had to entertain my friend.

20131029-114359.jpg

Many have experienced the emotional pain that devolves from infidelity or a cheating partner. If you choose to be in a relationship, you do stand the risk of getting hurt, but some hurts can be avoided. When two people commit to be in a relationship, they undertake the obligation and expectation of being faithful to each other. Being faithful requires a little more than the words, “I will be faithful” but more so requires great action and responsibility on the part of each partner. For instance, if I were to see an attractive man, and I see him actively trying to engage me with his eyes, I avoid eye contact and try to get as far away as possible just like my boy Joseph did in the face of great temptation with Potiphar’s wife. In some cases, one might find themselves actively staring at an attractive person, to you I would say avoid this! Simply program your mind not to look so hard, besides it being rude, such an action is just the beginning of the future manifestations of our sinful nature. 

God’s word already warns us of the consequences of such actions. In Matthew 5:28- But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. We must be careful what we allow our minds to dwell upon because, soon our thoughts turn into actions. I know you may think this is easier said than done, but if you take a step back, and really think about how much you value your spouse, partner, girlfriend, or boyfriend, and your relationship, you will not do anything or think anything that would threaten to destroy such. Before you take the step down the narrow winding road of infidelity think of the expected end, it never ends well. In the other hand, if you are the type of person whose eyes can’t help but stray, it just might be best for you to stay single. As the good book says, “do unto others as you would like them to do unto you,” – Luke 6:31. So my friends today I say go forth and flirt…not with anyone else but with your partner, do a double-take when you look at him/her, remind yourself of why you are with him/her, admire your partner’s physical attributes and say to them (and mean it), “Babe I’m hot for you and you only!”

Love, Ms. B

P.S. Please take our poll about infidelity below. It is anonymous. 

 

Advertisements

I’ve been hurt before – well get over it!

Standard

“I’ve been hurt before”

How many times have you heard this statement used as an excuse for trust or commitment issues? How many times have you used it? Frankly, people, it is 2013 and it’s time for us to GET OVER IT!

love hurts

S…………………….

After a certain age, or after we’ve been in a couple long-lasting relationships, chances are that we have ALL been hurt before. But it truly saddens me to know that people are unwilling to let themselves love someone else or be loved by someone else because they are so caught up in the fear of a repeat of being hurt. As Christians, we cannot allow ourselves to be ruled by this fear!

God does not want us to be afraid

2 Timothy 1:7 says For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Fear should have no part in a Christian’s (love) life. God has given us the power to choose, and to ask Him for wisdom in choosing, a significant other. God has provided the perfect example of love so that we can love others. God has given us  the sanity (discernment) to stay away from those unfit to be our significant others. If you find fear cropping up in your relationship, pray on this Word and ask God if it is truly fear or if it is the Spirit of God telling you this person is not God’s choice for you.

God wants us to forgive

Hebrews 8:12 tells us that God will not remember our sins. So if we are to emulate God, why are we holding on to what someone in the past has done to us and using that as an excuse to not commit fully to someone else? We need to forget in order to get past our hurt, and the only way to do this is to forgive. Sometimes we think we have forgiven the person who has hurt us. We should examine our hearts and determine if this is really true. If years later we are still holding on to the fact that we’ve been hurt in the past, then we probably have not truly forgiven them. And besides, it’s not fair for someone to suffer for someone else’s sins. (Jesus did enough of that!) We should give them a real chance to prove that they can treat us better.

God wants us to move on

God does not want us to live in the past. Phillipians 3: 13-15 speaks of a mature person having a mindset of “forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead”. Our past should not be brought up as a tool or defence of noncommittal behaviour in the present or future. Our past should not imprison us so that we cannot enjoy what newness God wants to bless us with. And our past should not keep us from a more blessed future!

Hurt comes with the territory

Finally, if you want to love and be in a relationship, you have to be willing to risk being hurt and hurting someone. Only God can love us unconditionally – a true love that involves no hurt, after all God is love (1 John 4:16) and God will not hurt us (James 1:13). The phrase “love hurts” is a lie. Only the consequences of our inevitably imperfect attempts at love will hurt. It’s only when we do not behave in the perfect Biblical loving example (1 Cor 13: 4-10) that we hurt or get hurt. We need to accept that hurt will happen and it’s how we deal with it that is important.

Caution versus fear

Now I’m not saying that you should not to be cautious when you are forming new relationships, but don’t give a half-hearted attempt of commitment because you are afraid of being hurt again. If you’ve observed the person you like long enough and see that true Christ-like qualities are there, give them a clean slate to work with and not one covered with the markings of your past. Pray to God about your choice and ask God to let the desires of your heart be in line with His desires for you. Ultimately, we do not want to end up with someone who will hinder us from growth in Christ.

I hope that God blesses any new relationships in store for you this year, or matures the love in any current relationships you are in. 

And remember to love like you’ve never been hurt!

Love,

Angie